The Testi' Times of Antin's Allstars

Often I think about how making a fantasy football transfer is like putting my balls out on the table: Sometimes I do it because it feels right even if logic tells me otherwise, sometimes I do it because its obvious, sometimes I do it out of pure desperation.

Lately I feel like i've been putting my balls out on the table and the universe has been smashing them with a Thor like hammer.  I make decisions out of what seems like sensible logic only to find that I'm going to take an even bigger shot in the baby maker.

The fact is my balls aren't close to being what they used to be.  In quiet moments I will reflect on how I used to be able to present them with aplomb - knowing full well that while others winced they would admire my moxy and respect the results.  But now as I produce the shriveled old sack that used to be champion conkers I'm resigned to a life of indifference from my peers and self loathing. 

Don't get me wrong - I respect only few of the balls being shown by my competitors.  The real prize set of grapefruits can be seen by the inevitable champion of the X Kent House Premier.  However much JC spit shines those veg of his, he just doesn't have the stones of a winner.  Those my friends belong to the Moroccan timeshare of one Lukas Holden.  Let me tell you - I'm watching Lukas' balls... and I aint hating what I'm looking at!